Courageous Pastors or Overbearing Leaders: How Do We Tell the Difference?

By Andrew Wilson

Photo by Alberto Bigoni on Unsplash

We all want to have or be courageous pastors—not overbearing leaders. How do we tell the difference?

What are the defining traits in each case? How might recognizing them help us grow into courage without becoming overbearing?

Given that our triune Creator and Lord is holy and just (Isa. 6:1–4; Rev. 4:8–11), the moral standard of the universe, he cannot simply overlook our sin. Think of God’s holy justice (Gen. 18:25). For God to forgive us, given who he is as the holy and just one, he must remain true to himself. He must act to satisfy his own righteous demand against us (Rom. 3:25–26).

Biblical Portraits

An obvious place to start is with the biblical qualifications for eldership. (I use the NIV throughout; all emphases are mine.) Several of Paul’s criteria in 1 Timothy 3:1–7 warn against an explosive, hectoring, or domineering use of authority: “Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money . . .”

At the same time, throughout this letter, Paul urges Timothy not to be squeamish about confronting those who are threatening the church, using robust and even military language: “command certain people not to teach false doctrines any longer” (1:3), “fight the battle well” (1:18), “command and teach these things” (4:11), “those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone” (5:20), “fight the good fight of the faith” (6:12), “command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant” (6:17), “guard what has been entrusted to your care” (6:20).

The same both/and is present in Titus 1:7–11:

Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. For there are many  rebellious people, full of meaningless talk and deception, especially those of the circumcision group. They must be silenced . . .

It also comes across beautifully in 2 Timothy 2, which begins with a call to strength and resilience, like that of a soldier or farmer or athlete (vv. 1–7), and ends by insisting that “the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone,” and that “opponents must be gently instructed” (vv. 24–25).

Notice the ease with which the apostles move between calls to strength, courage, fortitude, resilience, and resistance on the one hand and gentleness, humility, self-control, kindness, and care on the other. In healthy churches and healthy individuals, they’re two sides of the same coin.

Both sides were needed in biblical times because overbearing leadership isn’t a modern invention. It’s plain in the pages of the New Testament. Third John, to take a prominent example, addresses the problem of a certain Diotrephes: “[He] loves to be first, [and] will not welcome us” (v. 9). Jude describes shepherds “who feed only themselves” and seek power through a combination of boasting, flattery, and slander (vv. 11–16).

The writers in each case respond to such overbearing leadership with courageous confrontation, not squishy evasion. “When I come, I will call attention to what he is doing,” says the elder (3 John 10). Jude is even punchier: “Contend for the faith that was entrusted once and for all to the saints. For certain individuals whose condemnation was written about long ago have secretly slipped in among you” (vv. 3–4).

We don’t have to choose between men of jelly and men of steel. It’s possible to shepherd with courage and compassion, humility and bravery, clarity and charity. Correcting your opponents with gentleness (2 Tim. 2:25) requires no less.

Ultimately, we take our pastoral cues from the Good Shepherd, who came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. He’s no pushover. He has a rod and a staff, and he makes a feast in the presence of our enemies. But his rod and staff are a comfort to us. He restores our souls, leads us beside still waters, and makes us lie down in green pastures. He’s clear about the dangers of thieves and robbers and wolves; he sharply distinguishes himself from hired hands who are too scared to confront them, and he’s ready to die for his sheep.

But oh, what a tender Shepherd he is. His sheep know his voice. He knows his own, and his own know him. He longs for his sheep to find pasture, life, and perfect unity under his pastoral care, and he’s prepared to pay the ultimate price to ensure they do.

Let us undershepherds go and do likewise.

Article excerpts taken and adapted from The Gospel Coalition (U.S. Edition). Read the full resource here: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/courageous-pastors/