When Parenting Goes Cuckoo

By Rev Tan Eng Boo

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

If we observe closely enough, nature can teach us lessons from God. I recall once     photographing a Tailor bird feeding a huge juvenile Rusty-breasted Cuckoo in Pasir Ris. It was so strange to see this behaviour. My mind started to be filled with questions . . . “How did the Cuckoo end up being fed by a Tailor bird?” “Where   were the parents of this Cuckoo?” How did   the Tailor bird end up not feeding her own young?”

In the world of Ornithology, the cuckoo was exhibiting a behaviour  known as that of a “Brood parasite.” Brood parasites trick another bird   into taking care of their young. Brood parasites leave their young with another animal,    who acts as a “foster parent.”

First, a female cuckoo finds a nest built by a bird of a different species. Then, she sneaks into the nest, lays an egg and flies away. The bird often accepts the new egg. Indeed, they take care of it along with their own egg.

Later, things turn nasty.

The cuckoo chick hatches before the other chicks. And it wants all the food from the parents for itself. So, the young cuckoo pushes the other eggs onto its back, one by one. It braces its feet on the sides of the nest and rolls each egg over the edge. Smash!

By Roberta Kwok

(https://www.snexplores.org/article/bird-fish-insect-parenting-cuckoo-brood-parasite)

Parenting going cuckoo is not just confined to the birding world. I see it in the Christian church, too.

I have seen Christian parents giving their newborn babies to be looked after by non-Christian nannies as they go on with their daily vocations. Both Christian parents do not have the time to look after their own God-given child.

I recalled one Christian couple who almost lost their child, because the child was looked after by the foster mother for several years. One day, the child did not want to go home with the parents. The child also refused to call the parents daddy or mummy. This is just an example of when parenting has gone cuckoo.

If the Lord has blessed the Christian couple with a child, do what is rightfully   taught in the Bible. It is the task of the Christian parents, with the help of godly grandparents, to raise up the child/children in the way of the Lord (Prov. 22:6). Do not foster the child to a non-Christian to look after.

A Timeless Reminder

Proverbs 22:6 is a timeless biblical principle which underscores the importance of instilling godly values in the next generation. Who can fulfil that that role? Surely, not the non-Christian nanny. The task is a sacred one which Christian parents and grandparents should be involved in performing.

By teaching your children about God, you will lay a foundation that will guide them throughout their lives. You must invest in the spiritual growth of the young. The emphasis is on training, which implies an active, intentional, and hands-on approach to parenting. By investing time and effort into a child’s formative years, you are laying a solid foundation that guides them as they grow.

God told the Israelites to teach their children diligently:

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deut. 6:7)

There is no time to waste. Do it now, when they are young.

The Promise of God

Proverbs 22:6 also says, “when he is old he will not depart from it.” 

Is that true? I have seen Christian parents lamenting their son/daughter straying from the Lord when they grow up. Brethren, this verse is from the Lord. I can tell you that God’s Word will not return to Him void (Isa. 55:11), even if the outcome isn’t always immediately apparent or in the way we might expect.

Christian parents need to do the following fervently:

1.      Pray fervently for your children/grandchildren. Even though they may be adults, you need to pray for them. Pray for their salvation at an early age. Pray for them to love and serve the Lord all the days of their Christian life.

Look at the example of Job:

And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts.” Thus Job did continually. (Job 1:5)

Have you been praying for your children?

2.      Get your children to attend Sunday School and Worship Service.

Make sure your children attend Sunday School and Sunday worship service. Go as a family. They must see your example. They must see you love the Lord. They must see that you are a serious believer.

Whatever is taught in church, reinforce it at home (Deut. 6:7).

These are the two essential tasks for the parents. Paul spoke of the faith of Timothy because of his grandmother and mother’s faith:

I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well (2 Timothy 1:5)

What an example for us to follow!