Anger is a Choice

By Rev Tan Eng Boo

Know this, my beloved brothers:

let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

(James 1:19-20)

Who doesn’t get angry? Most drivers know what it is like to become angry on the road. When you are behind the wheel, you will know what I mean.

There was a time when I was driving and became very angry with another driver who was deliberately inching  his car into my lane. I refused to let him in, and I became even more upset when he eventually managed to get ahead of me and move into my lane. I honked at him repeatedly,  as my anger got the better of me.

Looking back, I asked myself: “Did I have to behave that way? Did I have a choice not to be angry?”

The Word of God has much to teach and rebuke us about our anger and how we  should respond when things do not go our way.

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. (Proverbs 14:29)

One of the Causes of Anger

One common cause of anger is blocked goals. We want something, but our desire is frustrated because we cannot have what we want. Consider how Balaam responded when his donkey refused to move because she saw the Angel of the LORD standing in the way — he  became angry and struck the donkey:

When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam. And Balaam's anger was kindled, and he struck the donkey with his staff. Then the LORD opened the mouth of the donkey, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?” And Balaam said to the donkey, “Because you have made a fool of me. I wish I had a sword in my hand, for then I would kill you.” (Numbers 22:27-29)

Balaam was angry because his plans were  frustrated. His donkey was standing in the way of what he wanted to accomplish. Christopher Ash and Steve Midgley, in their book The Heart of Anger, writes:

“We all create our kingdoms and expect to rule in them. And we all get angry when the exercise of our sovereignty is opposed…. And when someone or something stands in the way of our sovereign purposes, we blaze with fury. We can be angry with the kids who are playing a noisy game of frisbee; with the family who’ve taken our favorite spot by the lake. We can even be angry with the tire that goes flat on our way to the park…. But though it can be amusing at times, anger is no joke. It is the source of great ruin and the agency of some of the very greatest harm.”

How Do We Overcome Anger?

One of my favorite examples is found in the life of Nehemiah.

There was a time when Nehemiah became angry with the nobles and officials because they were taking advantage of their fellow Jews.

Now there arose a great outcry of the people and of their wives against their Jewish brothers. (Nehemiah 5:1)

Then Nehemiah says:

I was very angry when I heard their outcry and these words.  

                                                                                  (Nehemiah 5:6)

Notice what Nehemiah did with his anger:

I took counsel with myself (Nehemiah 5:7a)

Nehemiah did not immediately explode in anger. He stopped and considered the matter carefully. David Guzik, in his commentary on Nehemiah, writes:

“This was great leadership from Nehemiah. He was a man passionate enough to get angry; but wise enough to not act until he had considered the matter carefully.”

After careful consideration, Nehemiah confronted the nobles and officials:

“… I brought charges against the nobles and the officials. I said to them, “You are exacting interest, each from his brother.” And I held a great assembly against them (Nehemiah 5:7)

There is an important lesson here. Being angry does not mean that we must immediately act on our anger. When you are angry, stop and ask yourself: “Why am I angry? What has caused my anger? How should I respond in a way that honours God?”

Two Types of Anger

The Bible uses different words to describe anger. Two Greek words are particularly helpful for us to understand.

1. ὀργή — orgē

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger (orgē) for the anger (orgē) of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20)

The word “orgē” can describe anger or wrath that remains and is allowed to persist. It can be a settled or lingering anger that we continue to harbour within us. Such anger can become a time bomb. If we keep feeding it, it may eventually explode. James therefore warns us that human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

How do we deal with such anger?

The Apostle Paul says:

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26)

There may be occasions when we have a legitimate reason to be angry. But we must not allow anger to become bitterness. We must not cherish it, nurse it, or allow it to remain in our hearts. Deal with it. Seek reconciliation. Forgive. Do not allow yesterday’s anger to become today’s bitterness.

2. θυμός — thymos

Another Greek word is “θυμός” (thymos). It can describe a strong, intense outburst of anger or wrath. Paul says:

“Let all bitterness and wrath (thymos) and anger (orgē) and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:31)

This is the kind of anger that can suddenly flare up. A person with a short fuse may quickly explode when provoked. If you know that you are prone to such outbursts, sometimes the wisest thing to do is to walk away from the situation. Give yourself time to calm down before responding. Otherwise, in a moment of uncontrolled anger, you may say or do something that you will regret for a long time.

The apostle Paul gives a final word on anger. He says:

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

When you are angry, do not let anger decide what you will say or do. Stop before you speak. Listen before you judge. Pray before you respond. Remember how Christ has forgiven you. Then choose to speak and act with kindness. That makes Ephesians 4:32 very practical: anger may be a choice, but so is kindness, compassion and forgiveness.

These are not easy  traits to  practice when someone has made us angry. But the Christian life is not about following our feelings; it is about submitting ourselves to the Word of God. We may have reasons to be angry, but anger does not have to control us. We can choose how we respond.

The next time someone cuts into your lane, speaks harshly to you, frustrates your plans, or treats you unfairly, remember: You have a choice.