USING YOUR TONGUE AS A WEAPON

Scripture warns us that the tongue is often a chief cause of conflict. "Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person…. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison" (James 3:5-6, 8b). Sinful speech can take many forms.,
Reckless words, spoken hastily and without thinking, inflame many conflicts. "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing". (Prov. 12:18; cf. Prov. 13:3; 17:28; 21:23; 29:20). Although we may seldom set out deliberately to hurt others with our words, sometimes we do not make much of an effort not to hurt others. We simply say whatever comes to mind without thinking about the consequences. In the process, we may hurt and offend others, which only aggravates conflict.
Grumbling and complaining irritates and discourages other people. It also takes our eyes off to the good things God and others do for us. When others feel we are critical of them or ungrateful for what they do, it is only a matter of time before conflict breaks out (Phil. 2:14; James 5:9).

Falsehood includes any form of misrepresentation or deceit (Prov. 24:28; 2 Cor. 4:2), including lying, exaggeration, telling only part of the truth, or distorting the truth by emphasizing favorable facts while minimizing those that are against us. Anytime we use words that give a false impression of reality, we are guilty of practising deceit. In doing so, we are following the example of Satan himself, who is known as "the father of lies" (John 8:44; cf. Gen. 3:13; Rev. 12:9).

Gossip is often both the spark and the fuel for conflict. "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends" (Prov. 16:28). "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down" (Prov. 26:20). To gossip means to betray a confidence or to discuss unfavorable personal facts about another person with someone who is not part of the problem or its solution. Even if the information you discuss is true, gossip is always sinful and a sign of spiritual immaturity (2 Cor. 12:20; cf. Prov. 11:13; 20:19; 1 Tim. 5:13).

Slander involves speaking false and malicious words about another person. The Bible repeatedly warns against such talk (e.g., Lev. 19:16; Titus 2:3) and commands us to "have nothing to do" with slanderers who refuse to repent (2 Tim. 3:3-5). We should be especially sobered by the fact that the Greek word diabolos, translated as "slanderer" or "accuser", is used 34 times in the Bible as a title for the devil, the world's chief slanderer.
Worthless talk can also contribute to conflict, even if you intend no harm. It violates God's high standard for talking to or about others. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Eph. 4:29). Worthless talk also shows a disregard for Jesus' warning, "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken" (Matt. 12:36). If you memorize these passages and use them consciously as a filter for your words, it can help you to avoid many kinds of careless, critical, worthless words and to speak only those things that will benefit others, build them up and promote spiritual growth.

Sinful words contribute greatly to conflict. Furthermore, they can destroy us from the inside out. As 2 Timothy 2:16 warns, "Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in reckless talk, falsehood, gossip, slander, or worthless talk, you will not only stir up conflict, but also erode your own character and relationship with God. Therefore, for the sake of peace and spiritual growth, renounce all such talk and seek God's help in overcoming it.

"The Peacemaker"
Ken Sande